Shorter Days and Longer Shadows

No other season makes me feel as conflicted as fall. Autumn always brings mixed emotions for me, and as I get older that feeling is intensified. Each day the sun is dragged closer to the treetops in its arc across the sky and while I enjoy the traditions of the season I'm also sad at the loss of the warmth of summer. Red and gold give way to brown and tan and I'm reminded that the pale chill of winter will be here soon.

When I was young fall brought the mixed blessing of a new school year. The drudgery of trips to school in the cold, dim light of morning were offset by being able to hang around with my friends. The discomfort of shopping for new clothes with my mom was balanced out by having new clothes to wear. And later in the season the fun of getting free candy just for ringing a doorbell had to be weighed against the fact that you had to be dressed up in a costume to be successful at it.


Flash forward roughly 40 years or so to the present where I'm now a middle-aged man who can't help but see autumn as a metaphor for where I am in life. The bright, warm days are receding into the distance behind me and the chill air and fading light lie ahead. If there's anything worse than living a cliche' it's being aware of just how much of a cliche' it is.


I know there are still lots of good things to look forward to it's just difficult to look past the present and see more than the fading colors. Just as winter has the warmth of family gatherings, the glow of Christmas lights and other good things in store so do the coming years I have remaining to me offer many bright spots. Fall just makes it hard for me to focus on those things.