I miss Muzak, the quiet, the relaxing "elevator music" meant to stay unobtrusively in the background and for the most part be ignored. Muzak allowed you to focus on what you were doing without distracting you from the purpose of your excursion into the marketplace. Muzak knew its place and very politely stayed in it.
I'm not quite sure exactly when or why it happened but Muzak seems to be all but gone now. It's been replaced by actual songs by original artists. Usually these numbers are inappropriate for the venue they're aired in and more often than not played far too loud through a sound system never meant to deliver anything more complex than an announcement about a blue light special with any degree of clarity.
Feel free to dismiss me as an old crank who's out of touch with today's music if you want but I don't enjoy buying groceries while Avril Lavigne is screeching at me through a tinny-sounding speaker in an acoustic tiled ceiling. Just because Katy Perry kissed a girl doesn't mean I need to hear about it while I'm picking out hardware at the home improvement store. And I don't really care about how much back Sir Mix-a-Lot's baby has while I'm shopping for back bacon.
Even songs I like make me clench my teeth when I have to listen to them in these environments. Duran Duran, The Police, Bryan Ferry and countless others have all suffered being sent through the supermarket's sound system. Perhaps the most ironic moment was when I was in the alcoholic beverage section and happened to spot the six-packs of Miller Beer while listening to "Shambala" by Three Dog Night, the song whose guitar riff is currently being used as background music in Miller's TV ads. Talk about a multimedia experience!
Like most faults I find with the world I know this one is too big to change and there's no going back. That's fine, before my next trip to the grocery store I'll stop in my workshop and grab my earplugs.
11 hours ago





